On Walls

I’m breaking the fourth wall.

No medical student goes through their education easily or completely happy. No medical student doesn’t experience depression at least once. Expectations, standards, guilt, the difficulty of believing in delayed gratification, an intense fear of missing out on life and constantly realizing there is more to do, to learn, to figure out.

No person doesn’t get caught up in their thoughts, doesn’t get caught up in doubts, doesn’t question themselves, if they can do it, if they can make it, if this is truly what they wanted to do, if it is what they’re meant to do.

Even the student who posts Instagram photos with romantic reflections. She doesn’t completely know what she’s doing. Life is tough and she fails, a lot. She ponders, perhaps too much, perhaps on things she shouldn’t, perhaps to the point that it stifles her. Maybe her reflections are a means to silence the voices a little, to stand up, to be reminded that we are more than a single moment of vulnerability.

More than a single moment of vulnerability.

Catch yourself before you slip. Do not think so much, do not listen to doubts when the going becomes difficult, do not question what you have always known the answer to. You can do it. You will make it. This is what you want to do, and people-your family, your friends, the acquaintances you have made when you have least expected it-believe in you. They see how hard you continuously work, they know it’s not in vain. You are meant to do this. You belong. You are worthy. You must realize this.

You are not alone.

Keep grinding. Loosen those expectations and standards that are drowning you and make them realistic. Enjoy the small moments, the big moments, the special fleeting moments. Take it a day at a time. Take time if you need to. Take deep breaths. You are everything, so take care of yourself.

Do not put weight on a single moment of vulnerability. That is all it is, a single moment. We are a compilation of many moments, each better than the last. We always start at the beginning of something great. This is yours.

At the end of the day we’re all moving through life the best way we know how. But when we choose to move, we always move forward.

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